Its so unbeleivable the way life humbles you and make you realise the grave realities of life and brings one closer to oneself,,
I can remember the days when I could just say "I give a damn" and move on so easily and uncaringly to any body and anything.Now is a phase when I am humbled ;to people around me,to my outlook,to my control of myself,anger etc..all seems to be in a slow state when I am slowly flowing inside me..the grave reality to fathom is its me and me; my destination and further looks so unfathomable,,Life is the biggest teacher,,

"And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself?" - Milan Kundera

Surreal

""A minute ago I could see them up close
and feel the breaths full of life
My heart always told me they were here,
that I could always reach out to them whenever I wished
An inner demon questioned if all of it was an illusion
but I ridiculed the inner voice and its insecurity
and continued to revel in the mirth around me
until the voice grew too strong to ignore
A tinge of a fear grew inside me
and I thought to myself
"Ah, how simple.
Let me just prove the truth to myself
and drive the fear away forever".
I sought to touch them and stretched my hand
but they seemed to drift away as clouds of mist driven by a gust of wind
I was calling out to them
My voice died away in the haziness surrounding me
I could see the whole world slip away from my sight
and they disappeared with all the rest
But It couldn't be true, it was impossible
I groped and ran and shouted
to the emptiness that now surrounded me
I fell and shrieked
and awoke from the dream
only to live another day before facing them again"

"Sometimes things don't go as we may expect them to but life is kind enough to move on. We may wonder while walking on our split-off tracks what it was that was unrealistic in our expectations and never really figure out a concrete answer. But life still goes on, showing us new things and gradually taking our mind off the old ones."

Blues!

I sit in the dark
I sit on the blues
I wander into memories
I wander on my intrigues

I ask myself why I am here
I ask myself when I will be through!
I get no answers but
but more and more to rue!

"what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end" -melody

I have millions of thoughts!
broken bashed to the end
I try to repair them
but end up crushing them,into them!

"and you could have it all
my empire of dirt" -melody

I yearn to be you,with you....... be me!

"if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way" -melody

CLOUD

Cloud computing is a concept that has been making a lot of noise among the technical people as well as in the general tech savvy community.The reasons vary from the ease and portability it offers both to large companies with varied working places and to the mobility loving generation which so relegiously faithful to procrastination. :)

In general cloud computing provides services ,data storage and access independent of the location and device constraints.The task orientated companies have already been taking advantage of its features.So instead of discussing its impications to them,lets see what its has in store for the general fun loving gadget oriented tech savvy.

Cloud computing offers you the flexibility to store your applications,data.music,movies etc etc into a virtual 'cloud' which is accessable to you through various integrated devices from computers to pads and pods and all mnemonics.How interesting it is to download a music into your laptop and the next day when you are among friends and find the need to show of your music taste,just pluck it from 'your' cloud into your mobile and play it loud.

How it works is that you can create your personal 'Cloud' with access to you and people you want to share with.Now what you need is a cloud supported device like phones,ipod etc and the cloud is there to rain you with all the data you need.Pretty fun when you realise that we are all already into the cloud thing when in social media,we already have our own groups,friends,families etc and we share photos, music and what not.So cloud takes you to a newer level when it makes your social experience device independent.

particularly talking about iCloud,the concept of cloud computing developed by apple,one can integrate all their i series devices' data into the cloud and access them through any of the devices.One particular advantage is data loss prevention,for example,one may be saving some data into one's iphone and there is some failure,the data gets stored into the cloud and you can access through your mac.
Really Steve Jobs is a man of vision and to really beleive this has been in apple pipe line for years..great! :)
looking forward to my own iCloud!

lullaby

there is a lull around
voices speak but I am lost
my mind not clear -
confused views and memories-
gasping for a stroke of air
midst smoke and fire..


where is me, my vision, my journey?
that long clear road meeting the horizon!
what am I searching,grabbing running?
why is there a broken spectacle? 


a lull in my head,
a walk to the horizon,
a walk together,
the voices around,
smiling faces, different views,
unbridled mind-
A vibrant ME!

जिस रह पर चले हम खुद को खोजने

उस रह ने हमें क्यूँ तुमसे मिला दिया

जिस सोच को दिल से लगाया हमने

हर उस सोच ने क्यूँ तुमसे मिला दिया

अब हम करें क्यूँ  शिकवा किसी से

जब तुमने तक़दीर से ही हमें मिटा दिया

ache bache!

अच्‍छे बच्‍चे

कुछ बच्चे बहुत अच्छे होते हैं
वे गेंद और ग़ुब्बारे नहीं मांगते
मिठाई नहीं मांगते ज़िद नहीं करते
और मचलते तो हैं ही नहीं

बड़ों का कहना मानते हैं
वे छोटों का भी कहना मानते हैं
इतने अच्छे होते हैं

इतने अच्छे बच्चों की तलाश में रहते हैं हम
और मिलते ही
उन्हें ले आते हैं घर
अक्सर
तीस रुपये महीने और खाने पर।

--- naresh saxena

I want to dance, 
like in a trance
but can't find the beat


I want to fly,
into the wide open sky
but can't find the wings


I want to dream, 
of things that don't seem
but can't find the colours


I want to speak out,
no one will hear; that loud
but can't find the words


I want to run, 
into the dark unknown
but can't find my feet


I want to see 
beyond the present
but can't find a torch


I want to cry, 
like a small hurt boy
but can't find the tears


I want to laugh, 
with my heart more than half
but can't get the joke


I want to live my life, like me myself unbridled
but it seems I left myself somewhere behind
if you find him, tell him to come home, coz I miss him!

rah ke us mod par!

अहसासों के उन पलों में सोचता हूँ..

कुछ रोमांचित,कुछ दुःख से भरे

कुछ पुरानी यादों के साये में बुने,

हर पल अपने में एक भाव व्यक्त किये हुए...

 हर उस पल में संतुष्ट हूँ.. असंतुष्ट हूँ..

मैंने पलों को कोसा हैं, उनको सबसे यादगार बनाया है,बताया है...

पर क्या उन पलों ने मुझे थामा है,

क्या उन पलों के लिए ही मैंने जीया  है

...मैंने हर अगले पल को अपनाया है,

और फिर किसी पल को अपने पास पाया है.

तो क्यूँ मैं करूँ किसी पल का घमंड या बैर

जब इन पहलुओं से भरी ज़िन्दगी में

हर मोड़ मुझे नयी संवेदनाओं राहों को पाना है!

पुराने पलों को तो बस यादें बन रह जाना है!

 

A Beautiful Mind!

A new phase of life,
Was trying to fend off the lean period,
A breeze of air brushed me,
a carefree; pure ; a beautiful mind!
The never-before cupid had struck me..

Next chapter in my life, I am so happy.. :)
new people around,dunno why people staring at me(aah so naive...)!
new friends,things to learn,its so good...
Yee..my family,my friends,life full of myself...am going so great..:)

There is this strange pull,it feels so good!
Am confused to fall but I feel am already fallen into it.....
Its another new chapter, and I am so happy...:)<...:)..>
Its all so good and makes me happy!!

>

 

That touch,that smile,those talks so heavenly...

I was missing something,I have found love for sure.... :) <..:)..>

Its time to realize,this isn't mine

I have to live with it,I want to 

snatch it away but its beyond me...am sad.. :( <..:(..>

well holding on so distant so far!

Still holding on,its too subtle a bond..

there are fights,arguments and blames

which were previously shielded in a sheath of love!

but something just doesn't give away!

I hold on to its crumbling threads!

A new hand,a new voice,it feels so good!!..:)..

Its hard to hold on,break these threads and apart it goes...

I am happy,I wish to grasp it all

But again its not worth it all! .. why..:(...

there are voices and screams   

why the hell doesn't it go away , I detest it,please go away!

(its a new world in my eyes!)

I want this dream but I can't...am sad .. :(!

Unawares I cry,I break..its gone..it was never mine!!

I try to live it out but things come to choke me more.

I scream,I cry ..I call out...

I mend my views,my opinions..

I have that hand,that voice and am happy!! :)<...why??...>

still there are screams,the voice... I detest it.. I don't need it anymore...  :( < a simple mind fighting  with desire to get love and avoid love> 

But its fine,i have to move on...am sad!! :(  <..:(...why??..>

I still try to grasp,its a bond too beautiful to just let go away  !

I still wish to hold on and be there,with a different view....and I cry and scream!

But no answers and I can just ask:

Why me...O Beautiful mind,Why me!! 

..

There is Your whisper, Your silhouette!

but no where i find You..
I still feel You
so close I am to You
I wish I could steal You...

"You will keep talking to me
and I will sit and see...
never disturbing the moment
will just hold the innocence.."

I wont again ever run away..
then have the reasons anyway
I don't regret what ever happened
though I wish someway..

it can be undone...

Walking along the stream...
in the sand  bare foot
You were  my only dream
and then i will take a rest...

all these talks will go on..
I know its past and all gone
crowded may be but
will meet the world all alone

There are mistakes
i wont repeat..
but it is the basic me...
I cant cheat
may be again... if I see You..
and by grace I get u..
I am not sure I wont lose You!

You are the soft touch of,
morning light!
You are the love that embraces
every night!
I have learnt just the obsession
and never wish You in my possession!

better I am left with my passion
like a wanderer of the sea
wishing the land with every season
and going away just like me..

I HAD A DREAM!

I saw a smile…and all my worries flew
Those sparkling eyes said a million things!
She gave me a glance and I was wow!
My mind went blank
I was left speechless....
'I had a dream,I saw you...'

It was a crowded place 

still it was just me and you...
I could feel my heart beating faster…
I could feel d blood flowing through my veins...
It was something extremely NEW…
'I had a dream,I saw you...'

Blindfold

There is chill in the air,
there is coldness in heart,
the blood is freezing,ceasing a flow..

The mind is a battlefield;
a fight between the 'Saints of love'
riding on the horses of Utopian past
and 'Demons of Reality' who fly around..
on multiplying "wings" of never ending realizations and imaginations

The life seems so still,so never moving!
The eyes are faltering, they won't listen
my knees weak, but I am running
shackles, they just won't break...
I fall down, am hallucinated!!

There is a 'Corona' , it seems so beautiful
a vague image....'You'!!
I am soothed, I feel good, the Saints seems to have there way!

But the Demons get new wings:they are flying across..
much mightier much stronger..
the Saints are falling, the blood has ceased,m chokin!!
the 'pain' makes me plead to the "Angel"..it fades away n away!

My world bursts into flames!!!
The Saints have gone, the Demons have taken their place...
My mind is conquered,but it seems in peace; the Demons
giving me strength, the shackles breaking!
I feel stronger and clearer,the Demons coming closer;the voice screams:
"..... You lived a lie"

My eyes wide open, I can see a new " world"
Its so beautiful,its good!
I look for demons and there are only Saints
The voices keep telling me:
" A Blindfold my son, its over.....
the Saints have won.... :)"